To be, to have, to think, to move — which of these verbs is the one you feel most connected to? Or is there another verb that characterizes you better?
Funny, but just a month ago, I would have easily have said “be”. I like to just be and try to take things in stride. I’m a thinker too. I think things through, and maybe even over think, but when all is said and done, I just like to be. And maybe I’ve been that way for to long because right now, I’m being forced to move…and in ways I don’t want to.
Less than two week ago, I lost my mom to complications from a surgery that was supposed to be routine. The invisible diseases that plagued her were more advanced than the doctors thought. She couldn’t fight back and the pain over took her. Some of her final words to me were to move on and live my life. I find I’m still stuck back in that final phone conversation I had with her in which she told me she was going in for surgery.
The world has continued to move…and it’s leaving me behind. I want to just be…be back in time when I still had my mom. But life doesn’t stand still for anyone or anything, and I must move. I never realized how hard it can be to move…until you are forced because you’ve been stuck in “to be” for to long.
My life is forever changed. I now must learn to move, because “to be” was something of the past. And I know at some point, I’ll find that I’m back at my “to be”…and I’m guessing it will remind me once again to move.